Monday, May 4, 2009

The Good and the Bad of the ICU.

It was a very trying week for me at work. It made me question myself, and why I chose nursing in the first place. Don't get me wrong I love being a nurse but some days are pure hell on earth. I think God is testing me to see if I will crack.

I did crack a little. After coming out of one of my patients room, I must have looked like hell because the charge nurse asked me if I needed a hug. I did and yes I did accept said hug.

I wanted to cry I think a stress filled day mixed with hormones thanks Aunt Flo. I was a mess. I seriously said I don't want to come back tomorrow.

But I did come back. Yes you only get 2 patients in the ICU. But those patients are work. I literally spent hours trying to save a man's life, the next day same thing again but different patient.

I still wonder if the ICU will be my niche. I sure hope it is. I have so much more to learn. The ladies there are amazing though. They will back you up, and save your ass. They fight like family, but don't mess with anyone or else you will get the wrath of them all. Some of the nurses there have been there over 20 years. I can only hope I can get it together like them.

It is amazing though to visit with the families. You do what you can, and yet you try to keep your distance. But you don't want to seem uncaring. Those are people's mothers and fathers brothers and sisters you are taking care of. And yes I do care.


tiburon said...

I hadn't thought much about the ICU - but it has to be hard to be there. I would want you there if I was there though :)