Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Am I crazy?

We all know this isn't me. But lately I have been feeling like this with the scale. I am doing better this week. I really am. I am working out. But I am in defeat still. I am gonna lay it all out there.

I thought I looked good once upon a time. I weighed 115 when I got pregnant with Gianna. Many spicy crispy chicken sandwiches, mixed in with pre-eclampsia for good measure. I gained a whopping 64 lbs. I looked like a walking tomato. Why didn't anyone tell me not to wear a red dress to my baby shower. Why didn't anyone tell me I wouldn't be able to see my fat sausage toes and feet. Well I had her and managed to only loose 30 lbs of the 64. So here I am way bigger then what I was. None of my clothes fit. But I dealt with it. I was 135 for 5 years.

Then I got pregnant with Richie luckily only gained 39. After him got down to 122. Yeah breastfeeding and IBS. LOL I am so kidding!

Nicholas was a little different 50 lbs. So here I am at 128-130. I am doing good but can be better.

So my dilemma is body image disturbance. I hate my body. My tummy skin flaps around. My boobs resemble something of an Ethiopian mama in the Sudan. Yeah not a pretty picture huh.

Well to remedy the situation I am going to get a consult with a plastic surgeon. Maybe some day if I am daring crazy or stupid enough I 'll post some pics in a bikini someday.

5 comments:

Angie said...

Holy cow, I would give anything to weigh that!! I haven't seen those #'s since right out of high school! Amen to breast feeding though!

Tiburon said...

I would KILL to have your weight problem. I am totally having a tummy tuck. In about 30 more pounds :)

Rachel said...

I am SO with you, Ida. Can't shake this last 5ish lbs of baby weight. But I just can't justify the plastic surgeon- the finances are too tight here for now.
Hang in there girl, you know you still look great. (Although I am with you on the body image disturbance too! LOL)

Mindi said...

you GO!! plastic surgery has been my bff--it's made me like certain parts of my body again, and it has been A LONG time since i could say that!

we want photos!

Ida said...

umm photos we shall see maybe someday. But not now.